Tips To Talk With Your Son

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Males have a way of communicating differently to girls. Let’s see how to achieve a dialogue and understanding with your little one.

How to talk to my son?

Tips for talking to your son

Often, talking to our girls seems easy. The girls are transparent, open, sensitive and are not afraid to say how they feel. In contrast, and in full reflection of the generational culture in which we live, young men have many difficulties expressing fear, anguish or other feelings. How can you talk with your child to understand and know him better every day?

Your son, unique and individual

The first thing is to understand their personal dialogue, rather than impose ours. Each person (child, girl, adult) has its own communication, his way of expressing himself, his actions that say how he is without needing to do it with words. There are those who embrace those who reject the hugs, who accompany everything with huge facial gestures, who use the body more and, in the case of children, there are many behaviors that you can analyze.

For example, pay attention to the games you choose to play when you are alone or with other children. What is the role it takes in role-playing games, what is the language (verbal and corporal) that it uses? Is that the Avenger? Is he the vigilante? Do you apprehend the “wicked”? Do you say phrases that are conspicuous, denoting attitudes that have not been present in the game? Do you usually stay on the sidelines? All these behaviors (and much more) can make you understand what topics you are interested in, what concerns you, or if you are going through some emotionally important situation in your life.

Do not follow stereotypes

It is absurd to teach children that “men do not cry,” a phrase so popularized in our culture. Children, men, women, we all cry, we feel and we must feel free to express ourselves openly. Be sure to teach your child that it is okay to express your emotions, take refuge if you are afraid, cry and laugh alike.

Also avoid unnecessary scoldings, threats, or force them to do so. Just like girls, let your child find his way of expressing himself. Do not encourage him to show feelings if it is not what he wants, but be sure to let him know that there is no problem in doing so when you feel ready for it.
It also educates adults. If you explain to him that it is OK to show your emotions, crying and have fear, but then dad, uncles, grandparents or others tell him that “only girls cry,” your child is being exposed to completely opposing concepts. Ask adults not to say similar phrases, and covenant with the father or others the best way to teach your child to express their feelings in a productive way, then try to understanding the situation.

Clear and direct communication with your son

Children must take a much more precise and specific communication because they are so. Rather than “organize your stuff,” say explicitly “keeps your toys in the drawer”; instead of “behave well” tell you exactly what is what is doing and should not do, such as “don’t play with food” or “lifts your toys off the ground.”

In doing so, look into his eyes. Not in a threatening way, but giving him to understand that communication is exclusive between him and you. Ask him to look at you in your eyes if he does not respond to what you say (if he continues to play with food, and such), and uses a friendly and calm tone of voice, repeating once more if he had not given you enough attention. Finally, be sure to keep what you promise (more reason not to make vain threats). If you ask him a second time not to do a certain behavior, do not threaten him with absurd punishments, for the men will not respond well to them. Instead, explain to him that you will give him a chance to correct himself, or tell him clearly what the consequences will be. And then, of course, it complies with what has been said if the situation derives.

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